Ratchet back the emotion for a minute and you might be able to hear that “They were just trying to be nice,” sounds a lot like, “Hey, baby, I was just complimenting you, why are you so mad?”
They were trying to be nice. That has been acknowledged. It felt bad. It might feel bad if things were the other way around, or maybe if you were the minority you could just constantly shrug it off and be the bigger person, and accept that the dominate culture “means well,” but I think that is a lot to ask of all Jews all the time.
Let’s all be the caring, rational people I know we are and try to remember we don’t always get to decide what is nice and what makes people feel bad.