I love the standard old lady purse I was awarded upon my hill-cresting. It has so many pockets BUT NONE FOR FUCKS. Indifferent old ladies, FTmotherfuckingW.
Perfect reply is perfect.
I was approached today, in my capacity as a person ‘in charge’ of things at school by an irate neighbor. It was by a dude I can only describe as physically intimidating (tall, with broad shoulders), who I am vaguely aware of as a neighbor because he has a giant truck with a distinctive message painted on the back.
Anyway, he was totally pissed at our traffic officer. Mad enough that he pulled up in front of the school and stormed up the stairs and asked who our traffic officer’s ‘boss’ was. I just sort of shrugged and said our head of school, but I could talk to him.
The thing is, man, did this guy want to be an asshole. He was really workin’ it. His argument was so insane, or, not insane, but petty, that I had a hard time taking him seriously. His complaint was that out traffic guy ALWAYS stops him when he passes the school. ALWAYS. Sometimes just to let pedestrians cross the street at the alley! He actually posited to me that perhaps our traffic officer specifically has something against him.
Now. I’d like to reiterate that this man was much larger than me, and was purposefully being aggressive (kind of looming and making broad gestures). To what end it wasn’t clear, but he wanted to get all up in someone’s face because he was mad. I know that there have been times in my life where I would have been so intimidated by him, but this time I know my body language was more, “Are you fucking kidding me, dude?” Like, I wasn’t angry. I couldn’t even be angry. I mean, I actually *kind of* laughed. I couldn’t really help it. I mean, I also tried to be sympathetic and assure him no one is out to get him, but mostly I just kept looking at him like, “Are you serious? Really? Is this a fight we have to have?” When he kept going on about him letting people cross the street at the alley I finally said, “Well, I am willing to admit that I’m sure he does have a pedestrian bias.” YES HE IS TRYING TO MAKE SURE THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD ARE NOT RUN OVER BY CARS, WHAT A TERRIBLE PERSON!
He just kept looking at me like he didn’t know what to make of me. Like why wasn’t I fighting back or apologizing profusely? The middle ground seemed pretty confusing to him. And, you know what? He backed down. He didn’t really stop his argument, but he stopped being an asshole, and he just sort of ended up telling me how it was really upsetting to think that our traffic guy was targeting him in some way. Those weren’t his words, but that was what I took away from it. And to be fair, he’s latino and obviously working class in a neighborhood FILLED with million dollar houses and white lawyers, so, yeah, I bet he does get his fair share of hassle from people in the neighborhood.
I’m not sure if this is a story about how I’m awesome at diffusing tension, or a story about how now that I’m an old lady I just don’t have time for your shit.
Let’s just go get a beer and hug it out.
My period made me do it.